Mud Slugs
by Nixton
Summary: The sky is gray, it's drizzling, Phil is dressed nice, and he's at the soccer field kicking goals. Things have gone bad for Phil, and Lil is there to help him.


The sky is gray with clouds, a slight drizzle falling all around. Lil, wearing a raincoat and holding umbrella, walks across the grass, rounds the soccer field bleachers, and sees the wet field, empty save for her brother Phil, in his nicest pair of pants and a nice green button up shirt, at the far side of the field, a bag full of soccer balls next to him. He rolls one out, puts it in place, and kicks, the ball soaring over the goal. He grabs another one, puts it in place, kicks, and this time it goes off to the left. Lil stands there, watching him repeat the process, emptying the bag, missing all but two shots. He picks the bag up and goes about collecting the balls, returning back to the position on the field to start the process all over again.

"I had a feeling I'd find you here." Lil says, walking up behind Phil as he prepares for his second shot.

"Go away Lil." He solemnly growls. "I don't want to talk about it." He kicks, the ball flying upwards and bounces off the top of the goal and rolls to Lil, putting her foot on top of it. She closes her umbrella and sticks the tip into the ground, making it stand.

"That's fine. If you don't want to talk then how about we just work on your aim." She suggests, removing her raincoat, showing her short sleeved pink shirt and blue jeans. She kicks the ball up, bouncing it a few times before catching it and walking next to Phil and dropping the ball. "Your foot is getting to far under the ball and to far to the side. First see where you need to hit to go straight." She takes two steps back, visualizing the spot on the ball. "Then pick the spot you want the ball to go to and keep your eyes there while you kick." She steps forward and kicks the ball, soaring through the air and hitting the upper left corner of the net. Phil scowls at her as she smiles about her shot. "Now you try."

Phil grumbles something and takes a step back. He kicks his ball straight into the goal, right in the center. Lil claps and pats him on the shoulder.

"See? It works. Now try again and this time aim for the left." She suggests. He grumbles again and does as she says, kicking and making it into the far left of the goal. They continue taking turns, shooting goals, most of Phil's actually being inside the goal this time, until the bag runs out again. "I don't know about you but I'm soaked. How about we get out of this rain?" Lil comments as they collect the balls. Phil just stays quiet and drags the bag full of balls back to his spot and prepares to kick them again. Lil sighs and walks over beside him as he takes his shot, making it to the right. He takes another out and kicks it over to Lil, and she makes a shot. Another ball out and Phil steps back for his shot, but doesn't take it.

"She laughed..." He croaks, his voice crackling, clenching his fists. "Right in my face when she told me." He kicks the ball hard and it flies over the goal, over the fence. Lil could see streams down his face, but wasn't sure whether they were tears or just water from the rain. "When she told me the last two months were fake, nothing but a lie..." He clenched his fists tighter and started shaking, both from anger and the from being soaked. Lil felt her own hands ball up in anger.

"What do you mean they were fake?" She heatedly asks, rolling a ball out and kicking hard goal. "I clearly recall not two days ago the two of you looking as content as any couple can be." She kicks a ball over to Phil.

"Fake, as in not real!" He spits, kicking another goal, the ball slamming against the net. "The whole thing was one big act." He gets another ball and kicks it, this one bouncing off the top and flying over behind them.

"That doesn't make any sense. She was the one who asked you out." Lil states, walking back to where the ball was, standing a dozen feet behind Phil, whom stayed looking at the goal. "Why ask you out, and continue to go out with you for two months, if it all was just a sham?"

"To win a bet." He spits, another ball slamming against the net.

"A bet?" Lil says with disbelief.

"Did I stutter?" He hisses back at her. "That's what I said. To win a fucking bet." He grits his teeth. "She, along with her three friends, explained in _excruciating_ detail the whole thing, all while laughing at me." Another ball, another kick, another soaring over the fence. "If she could survive dating the 'gross, disgusting, smelly, ugly, socially inept loser Phillip DeVille' for two months, her three friends would pay for any and all future fashion purchases for a year." Ball, kick, net. "And you want to know what the worst part is?" His voice cracks with the question. "I told her just yesterday that... that I loved her."

"You confessed?" Lil gasps. Phil had confided in her a week earlier that he thought he was in love.

"Heh, yeah, I did. I took your advice and told her, and the next day she laughs in my face and tells me it was all a lie." A sob escapes from his throat.

"Those girls are horrible." She says. "If I had had an inkling as to what she was really like I-"

"Apparently that's what it takes to get a girl to date me." Phil dejectedly says, interrupting Lil. "The promise of a year long shopping spree."

"Phil, you know that's not true." Lil consoles him.

"Isn't it?" He suddenly yells, startling her. "Her exact words were that I was an 'ugly, stupid, disgusting little mud slug that no girl would ever willingly submit themselves to the torture of being near me let alone date me without an incentive to do so.' And they're right."

"Phillip." Lil sternly says to him. "That's enough. Those girls are nothing more than bitches who haven't a clue as to whom Phillip DeVile really is."

"And who might that be, Lillian?" He growls back at her. "Who am I really? Huh?" He demands. Lil falters at his sharp tone which Phil takes for hesitation. "You can't, because I am an ugly, stupid, disgusting little mud slug that no girl wou-" He is interrupted by a soccer ball Lil kicked hitting him in the back of the head, making him fly forward into a mud puddle that had formed from the rain. He sits up, his entire front covered in mud, wipes off his face and turns to scowl at his sister who was scowling right back at him, the soccer ball under her foot, having bounced back off his head.

"If you would shut up I'll tell you." She seethes. "First off, you are not ugly or stupid. You and I are twins, we look exactly alike. I know that I am smart and beautiful so there's no way you are stupid or ugly."

"Lovely defense you've cooked up there Lilian." He sarcastically says. "But narcissism isn't very compelling pr-" He ducks down into the mud as the soccer ball whizzes over his head.

"I said shut up and let me tell you." She orders him. "Those bitches think that one's social status determines attractiveness. They couldn't be any more wrong. You are a handsome guy Phil and are very smart." Phil props his arm up on leg.

"If that's so then why have I not heard it from any other aside from you and our parents?" He challenges her claim.

"It's because you spend too much time in the mud." Lil asserts. He raises an eyebrow at her.

"I spend too much time in the mud? If I recall correctly, which might be hard due to a concussion, you're the one who hit me with a soccer ball and made me fall into this mud." He picks up some of the mud and let's it drop out of his hand. Lil goes over, grabs the bag of balls, and walks back, taking a ball out and kicking it at Phil, who dives into the mud to dodge. "Would you stop kicking those at me!"

"Every time you're a dumbass I'm going to kick a ball at you." She tells him.

"I'm a dumbass now? I thought you said I was smart." He ducks again as another ball whizzes by him.

"When I say you spend too much time in the mud, I mean it figuratively, albeit a little literally as well." Lil explains. "You have a number of habits that are on the disgusting side of the scale, which you exercise frequently, thus you waddle in the mud frequently."

"So you admit that I'm disgusting, a mud slug."

"Your habits are disgusting, and you wouldn't be known as a mud slug if you would learn when to get out of the mud. It's one thing to play in the mud in private or amongst friends and family, but you fail to know when to get out of the mud."

"Perhaps I wouldn't spend so much time in the mud if I still had someone to play in it with." He scoffs. Lil frowns at him.

"What do you mean?"

"You stepped out of the mud and the fun the it is years ago just so you'd have a good image for people you don't even know. You and I used to play in the mud together all the time, figuratively and literally. If I still had my partner in crime, as it were, to spend time in the mud with, doing it by myself wouldn't be as fun and thus I wouldn't want to. And, if I'm understanding you correctly, the thing that makes everyone think the things that she said is the fact that I don't know when to get out of the mud."

"Yes... I suppose that is what I'm saying. Even though the things she says are untrue, people think them because you don't know when to get out of the mud." She calmly says. Phil sighs. They both stand there, well she stands and he sits in the mud, as they both remember the drizzling rain and shiver with the cold.

"Alright, you've convinced me. The things the girl I thought I loved said are untrue, aside from being a mud slug. But I'd be less of a mud slug if I had someone to be a mud slug with again."

"I don't find such things to be fun anymore. I'm repulsed by most of it." Lil explains. Phil smiles for the first time that day.

"You've only convinced yourself of that. Mud is in our blood." He tells her. Lil looks at the mud wearily.

"If I join you every now and again, would you learn when to get out of the mud so girls can see you for who you really are? A handsome, smart, caring, funny guy?"

"Caring and funny too? That might be a bit much for me to believe." Lil pulls her foot back and he waves his hands in front of himself. "Alright, deal." He extends on hand upwards. "Shall we shake on it?" She smiles, walks forward, and takes his hand and shakes it. Phil gets a sly grin and pulls her down into the mud puddle with him. They begin wrestling around in the mud, playing with it, throwing it at each other, shoving it into each others faces, laughing. After a few minutes they settle down, covered head to toe in mud, their laughter dieing down. Phil's continues to decline past a content smile as he starts to cry. Lil pulls him into a hug, and he returns her embrace.

"It's alright Phil, let it out." She soothingly tells him. "Your mud slug of a sister is here for you."

"I loved her." He sobs.

"I know. And it'll hurt for a while. But you're strong and you'll get through this thick mud puddle, and I'll be there to help you." After a few minutes of crying they get out of the mud. They gather all the soccer balls, putting them in the bag and put the bag with the rest of the sports equipment. They squeeze together and share Lil's raincoat and umbrella and head home. As they step inside their house Betty, their mom, greets them.

"Geez Louise, I haven't seen you two this dirty since you pups were knee high to a grasshopper. What happened?" Phil and Lil share a smile as they shed the raincoat.

"We had an enlightening conversation." Lil starts, gathering up some mud off herself into her hand.

"About the intricacies of mud." Phil finishes, getting some mud off of himself as well, and they shove the mud into each others faces, laughing. Betty joins their laughter.

"You two better get yourselves cleaned up before Howie has a heart attack." She laughs as she walks away.

"Maybe we should have let the rain wash the mud off of us." Phil comments.

"Instead of covering up with the raincoat." Lil adds.

"Whelp, you better not take to long in the shower, if I'm to minimize my my muddiness." He jests.

"No, you should go first. You are the heart broken one after all." She insists.

"I would say ladies first but you're not looking very lady like right now." He grins. She playfully elbows him.

"And I would say age before beauty but I've got them both." She triumphantly declares. They stand there in silence for a few moments. "Race you to the bathroom?" Lil suggests.

"You're on." Phil challenges, and they both go running up the stairs, pushing each other, throwing mud all over the walls, and Lil wins in the end. "You cheated." He declares through the door.

"Did not." She retorts.

"Did so Lillian."

"Did not Phillip." A moment of silence and they burst out laughing. "Hey, you still got that science fair project of yours that got you first place?"

"I got it triple airtight sealed so mom doesn't find out." He proudly says. "Been saving it for a special occasion. Why?" Lil gets an evil grin.

"Cause I think tomorrow is a perfect day for revenge."

"Ah yes, revenge. That should do wonders for the healing process."

The following day.

"And camera is rolling." Tommy says with a smile. The girl goes to her locker, surrounded by her three friends.

"Thanks again for the whole new outfit girls. With you three as my credit cards, I'm going to be wearing a new outfit every day for a year." She gloats.

"I still can't believe you managed two whole months with that loser." One of the girls says.

"Yeah, well, not many people have the acting abilities that I do." She opens her locker and out comes pouring a massive ooze of fungus and mold all over her as she shrieks in horror. Everyone within thirty feet was nearly knocked out the by stench, and the girl was to horror struck to comprehend the smell. A crowd gathered and started laughing at her.

"Smile for the camera." Tommy laughs, keeping his gag reflex in check, moving up close. Phil and Lil step behind him, arms crossed, smirking at her.

"That stench won't be coming out for at least two weeks." Phil tells her. "Least that how long it took for it to get out of the carpet when I spilled a little bit."

"Maybe next time you'll think twice before playing with someones feelings." Lil adds in.

"And I'll send you a copy of the tape as a friendly reminder." Tommy grins. Overwhelmed, and the smell finally registering, she faints, collapsing on the floor.


End file.
